Built This Way
by PurpleAngel87
Summary: Sort of Song fic to Built This Way by Samantha Ronson. Caitlyn centric. Because at the end of it all, what do you do when everything you ever held close collapses around you? When there isn’t anyone in the world you can call your friend?


Disclaimer: I don't own Camp Rock or Built This Way or Mean Girls. I own nothing basically.

AN: This is a sort of song fic to Built This Way by Samantha Ronson. It's that song from Mean Girls. I don't know where this came from…just as I was listening to the song. It's really different to the kind of stuff I like writing and honestly I found it quite hard. I'm not too sure how I feel about the end result. Either way, I hope you enjoy it…let me know what you think in a review! Pretty please?

* * *

_Did you ever feel like you wanna be someone else for just one day?_

I have. Not just any one though. Mitchie Torres. Innocently sweet Mitchie Torres. My best friend, Mitchie Torres. I would have given anything to be the reason why Shane Gray had that smile on his face and that look in his eyes. I would have given anything to be in her shoes, to not feel guilty for just one day. I would have given anything to not to have to meet her eyes, and have her look at me full of admiration and tell me what a good friend I was. I hadn't deserved it.

_Did you ever feel like you wanna see through another pair of eyes?_

I wish I had been Nate Black's eyes the day he walked in on me and Shane. He hadn't deserved that. He had loved me and I had cheated on him. With his best friend and my best friends boyfriend. I remember the fight we had after Shane had left with a black eye. Nate had said he wouldn't tell Mitchie as long as we did. Of course we were over – I hadn't expected him to welcome me into his open arms after finding out I had been sleeping with his best friend. I think he thought there was still some hope for us.

"Please tell me this was a one off Caity, you regret it right? You never meant for it to happen, it was a mistake, please Caity, just tell me it was a mistake…"

I can almost hear his breathless rambling trailing off into nothing. Part of me wanted to tell him what he wanted to hear but I couldn't.

"I've been cheating on you for nearly six months," I had said, almost coldly.

I'll never forget the look in his eyes when I said that. And that's why I would wish I could see through his eyes on that day – so I wouldn't have to see him look at me like that.

He moved out of my flat that very day.

'_Cause every man that I know makes me feel like I'm too plain. _

Shane came over the next day. I assumed he wanted to talk about telling Mitchie.

"We're over, Caitlyn," was what he said when I opened the door.

I had stared at him and silently opened the door wider to let him in. He had then gone into one his famous Shane Gray rambles as Mitchie had liked to call them.

"What Mitchie and I have…I can't let it go Caitlyn. This was…I don't want to end up like you and Nate. I love Mitchie, Caitlyn. What we had was great while it lasted but I love Mitchie," he had said.

That had stung. He had never thought of me as more than a fling. I was nothing to him; no one, and I sure as hell couldn't take the place of his beloved Mitchie. I was just plain, old Caitlyn.

"Are you going to tell her?" Was what I had asked instead of voicing my thoughts.

He had looked at me, his dark brown eyes piercing through my hazel ones.

"No."

_Did you ever feel like you should have said something smarter at that time?  
Did you ever feel like you should have kept it all to yourself?_

I was bitter. Actually to say I was bitter was an understatement. Everyone assumed it was because of Nate. I let them. Everyone thought it was best to leave me alone until I had gotten over him. Everyone except Mitchie. The day after Shane had come over to mine, I heard a knock at the door around mid morning. I didn't answer straight away, in hope that the person would go away. They didn't. After finally gathering the courage to answer the door, I opened it to reveal my best friend holding two tubs of ice cream.

She had been so _understanding._ She hadn't asked any questions, she had just sat with me, prepared to listen and I couldn't handle the guilt. I could remember our conversation as though it had only taken place five minutes ago.

"Caitlyn, it's going to be ok, I promise," she said.

I closed my eyes. "Please don't do that, Mitch," I had said, unable to stand her being so nice when I didn't deserve it.

"Do what, Caitlyn?" She had asked, genuinely confused.

"Don't be so nice to me! I don't deserve it, Mitchie. If you knew the full story, you would totally agree so please…just don't," I had said.

I think something in my voice must have given something away to Mitchie because the next thing she asked me was:

"Why did you and Nate break up, Caitlyn?"

I looked away from her. It was as though I had no control over my own voice. I knew this would be one of those moments which I would remember later and think 'I wish I had said something smarter at the time' or 'I wish I had kept it all to myself.' I couldn't help myself and the next thing I knew, I blurted out:

"Because I slept with Shane!"

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just built this way. I've never managed to keep hold of any of the important relationships in my life, or any of the important people. Nate had gotten together with Tess Tyler just shortly after we broke up. I had never meant to hurt him, but for some reason, it didn't hurt me that I did. Mitchie and Shane broke up. The last time I had seen Mitchie in town, she had been standing quite close to Jason White. Shane…I don't know what happened to him after the break up. Part of me had hoped that maybe he would realise that what we had wasn't just a fling, but he didn't ever get in touch with me. I had loved him, and not hearing from him had hurt but it had showed me that I had to move on.

I looked around my flat for the last time. The cab would be here soon and then I never had to think about this part of my life ever again.

Because at the end of it all, what do you do when everything you ever held close collapses around you? When there isn't anyone in the world you can call your friend? When it's all over?

You start again.


End file.
